This May, while at the National Stationery Show, we had so many people ask us our process for writing our cards.  Most said something like “a bottle of wine and a pen, I bet!” and then laughed and guffawed their way through our line of cards.  What these people didn’t realize as we laughed with them is that they nailed it on the head.  It’s just so hard to admit with REAL WORDS at a trade show with 80 year old women with blue hair that we do indeed drink Two-Buck-Chuck to grease the wheels of the humor wagon.  So here, in our second blog posting, we will pull back the curtain and let you into the real world of writing Hard Cards.

Step 1:  Go over to Randi’s house, because she has a really beautiful, big house with a huge yard and all 5 of our combined dogs can run and poop in the yard.

Step 2:  Grab some food from the fridge and stand in the kitchen while we discuss non-business stuff like the last movie we saw or what our next vacation will be.

Step 3:  Grab a bottle of wine from the fridge and take it outside into the yard along with our notes on stuff we think is funny.

Step 4: Drink wine, laugh, write, write, write, drink wine, drink wine, high-five eachother because we each separately wrote the exact same card on our own and we think we’re awesome for having the same mind.

Step 5: Get another bottle of wine

Step 6: Repeat step 5.

Step 7: Sit around and talk about how we really should pick up the dog poop in the yard, but since it’s so dark Randi can just take care of it in the morning.

Step 8: Stacey waits it out until she is sober.  Drives home.

That’s it, really.  The fact that we’re both comic geniuses has a huge hand in making Steps 1-7 more than just a backyard party (step 8 has nothing to do with our writing process, it’s just a good, smart idea), but you’ve read this far so obviously you already know about our comic intelligence.

Then we have to deal with the litany of "ideas" from our friends, family, neighbors.  Of course everyone now is an expert on writing jokes. This does not make them bad people, just occasionally insufferable to be around.  "Hey, so Stacey and Randi - I went to the dentist today and they gave me novocaine. I couldn't talk for an hour and I was dribbling water all down my face, it was HILARIOUS! You should totally write a card about going to the dentist!".   We tell them that we intend to write cards on gynecological exams first, and then we'll get to the dentist cards.  This often quiets them for a time.  That is, until they have to stand in line at a bank for longer than 10 minutes and then they want us to write a card about waiting in lines.